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I apologize; yes, it is my infant wailing on the plane.

“I see you,” your expression says. “You are that most loathed of all beings: the person who has brought a baby onto an airplane”. You overheard me referring to myself in the third person as “Mommy,” and formed a negative impression of me on this basis. I really wish she were not screaming. Indeed, I wish it even more than you do!

Please believe I am trying to get her to stop. But she is giving me nothing! Now I am shaking a rattle and making my funniest face!